Making a Difference

Becoming a Social Media Manager has been an awesome experience.  Not only do I get to help clients expand their social reach, tell their story and increase sales, but I get paid to do it.  Doing consulting work, I set my own schedule, work while the kids are in school and strengthen my own talents.  It has been a lot of fun!  I definitely get up everyday excited to "go" to work.

My experience and work for several clients led to an invitation to be on the advisory board of a foundation:  The Healing Through Christ Foundation. I run their Facebook and Pinterest pages and advise them on their website, blogging and more.

The Healing Through Christ Foundation provides educational resources for families that have been affected by pornography addiction. Their flagship product is a 12 Step manual designed for family members of those who struggle with addiction.

My work with Healing Through Christ has earned me offer to blog for Women for Decency--one of the leaders in the fight against pornography.  After brainstorming with board members of the foundation, we decided that our first blog posts will each feature information about a step from their 12 Step Workbook.

I would love to share some of the posts I've written for Women for Decency.  Two board members look over my writing and edit my work so it truly represents what they are trying to do. Pornography addiction has become an overwhelmingly common problem.  While there are many resources for addicts (though we need still more),  resources for family members are limited.

Working for and with the Healing Through Christ Foundation has been transformative for me.  Although I enjoy all the work I do for all my
clients, my work with Healing Through Christ is making a difference.  I get to connect people who are hurting to resources that will help them.  I think often of the words of a hymn, "Have I done any good in the world today?  Have I helped anyone in need?"  When I'm doing work at Healing Through Christ, I can answer those questions with an unequivocal, "YES!"

Annika's Turn

Annika's vision has slipped a bit.  She's fighting fluid under her retinas.  Nate, on the other hand, has never been better.  So I really believe it's just a matter of finding the right dose.  She was barely 5 when she was given meds for the first time.  She's growing and her meds have to grow with her.

Two months after increasing Annika's meds by 50%, her left eye is doing better, but her right eye is still getting worse.  So we've increased her meds by another half a pill.  In a few more weeks we'll see if this saves her eye or if we have to go up again.

In good news, Annika in a champion pill taker.  That girl can down 2 pills in one swallow--no problem.  And she's 7! She takes them in applesauce.

Two months ago Emma's eyes were slightly worse.  We bought her a pill box and with her pill taking getting much more consistent her eyes are doing great.

And Nate. Can you believe that only a little while ago we were so worried?  Now he's doing awesome.  He sees 20/20 in his good eye.  I honestly never believed that would happen.

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Since learning about our kids eye condition more that 3.5 years ago, Beck has been praying for his affected siblings.  At 5, he's been praying for them since he could pray.  He prays for them in every prayer. Every. Single. Prayer. Because we were worried about Nathan for so long, Beck always prayed for Nate first.

"Please bless Nathan's eyes," he prays.  And then almost as an after thought he adds, "And Emma's and Annika's."

But this last month with bad news for my little girl twice in a row, I know I need Beck's prayers on her behalf.  So we talked about rearranging the order--praying for Annika first.

I honestly believe that God listens carefully to small children's prayers.  And I believe that Annika will get better.

Apples vs. Oranges Part III

I was on anti-depressants when I got pregnant with my third child and despite their "C" status, I stayed on them through my entire pregnancy and another two years after.  It was tough going.  As my waistline expanded again for the third time in three years, strangers were shockingly bold.

"Do you not know how to stop this?"

"Do you understand how you get pregnant?"

I even had a woman in Zion's National Park talk very loudly (looking over her shoulder) about how population growth was ruining the world and people who had too many children were irresponsible.  Of course, I was in my third trimester holding a 19-month-old and a three-year-old on my lap, exhausted and sweaty.  Now, not only was I the height of stupidity, but also ruining the planet.  It was a heavy burden to carry.

We moved during that pregnancy and I remembered the women at church did a little spotlight on me.  I had told the woman who called that, though my daughter was 2.5 at the time, she was almost 3 and she should say that she was almost three.  She didn't.  The spotlight said that I had a 2 and a half-year-old, a 17-month-old and was expecting another baby in July.

As they read the spotlight in church, the ladies behind me whispered, "How is that even possible?"

I felt foolish everywhere I went.

****

There were at least a dozen miracles that surrounded my third child's pregnancy.  They were what I clung to, trying to remember that God was there.  That He hadn't abandon me. Those are the only stories I usually share.  And I got a happy ending, too.  Nathan James was born on July 16, 2002 weighing a whopping 9 lbs 10 oz despite the fact that he was 15 days early.

The medicine that was prescribed to push the cancer meds out worked.  Nathan had no ill effects of the medicine.  He is one of my three with Macular Degeneration, but because I wasn't on cancer meds with the girls, no doctor finds any correlation.

But I wanted to address myths about surprise pregnancy.
1. That they are no big deal.
2. That there is no mourning.
3. That the mother had a choice.
4. That the problem is temporary.

For me, this "surprise" rocked me to my very core.  And whether I should or not, I mourned.  Even as I held my new baby boy, I would tell him how very sorry I was.  Sorry that I hadn't been more excited.  Sorry that I wasn't a better mother.  Sorry that I had wanted a girl.  Sorry.

A woman I was very close to, got pregnant around the same time I did.  She miscarried and I watched as that rocked her to the core.  And despite everything, against all odds, I remained pregnant and carried a healthy baby full-term.  It didn't make any sense to me at all.

The struggle didn't end when he was born.  I had so many dark days over the next few years. My heart would break over the things I had wanted to do, but couldn't.  And all 11-years-old of him proves the permanence that a surprise pregnancy brings.

As a pro-life, God-fearing woman, I only had one choice:  to continue my pregnancy.  I'm not really sure what that means when these women would say, "They have a CHOICE."  What choice did I have?  Once you're pregnant, what choice do you have?

True, not all surprise pregnancies are this traumatic.  My 5th was a surprise too, but a surprise I was infinitely more equipped to handle.

In any event, who are we to judge?

Perhaps someone can read my story and still say it's nothing.  But it wasn't "nothing" to me.  And in the same way that we work to be sensitive to those struggling with infertility, we should be sensitive to those who are too fertile, too.  Let's not look at anyone's trial and just assume that it's no big deal.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." --Ian Maclaren